just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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