I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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