Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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