Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
