Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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