I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
