i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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