i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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