Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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