"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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