Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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