you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
