I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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