the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
