i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
