I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
