Screwed.edu
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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