I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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