This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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