Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
