I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the condom got lost in my hair
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
