I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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