Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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