I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
