Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
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It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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