He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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