next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
