Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize