They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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