she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
is it fun? or sober?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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