I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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