Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
