And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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