you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
