Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
