great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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