She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
