in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
either way he was missing a nipple.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
