I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
