Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
