after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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