if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize