so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
