My first STD was from a foam party
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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