I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
