Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
