Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
