Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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