Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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