hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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