Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
