I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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