I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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