I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i will never coherently bang her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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