ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
