It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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