Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im holly from the hills drunk
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
