One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
