everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
