i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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