suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
