Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
