mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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