and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
