playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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