i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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