So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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