Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
