Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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