Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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