I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
