i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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